It has been way too long since my last post. I know I promised more bathroom travesty story's. I have been very busy job hunting. I have been offered every position I have interview for but alas I could not except the positions, for lack of pay and very shitty hours. I do have a interview with a credit union on Monday. I'm sure I will slam dunk it. Then I will get to work with my cousin (otherhalfness)! We will be in different departments so it will work out well.
Bobby started Daycare a few weeks ago and he LOVES it. His favorite teacher is Miss Allie. Shes the only one I like too. The others are great but I think there is something lacking in there personality's, though they are super chipper like they have been snorting caffeine...there is just something odd with the others, I can't quite place it. In the end it comes down to trust, and I do trust them.
I end this post with an SOS...I miss you Jennifer! I know you are busy and you have your own life, but please I cannot live without your undeniable logic, and mothering skills. I love you I miss you. Please call me.
Kim:)
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The Oregon Arizona, New Mexico,Texas Trail of amnityville horror bathrooms
I set off on a trip this past Saturday with my mother, step father and my son James. Our trip took us from Phoenix through, Tucson, Las Cruses, El paso, Van horn, Odessa and Abilene all the way to Midlothian, TX to where I am currently visiting my sister Jennifer, her husband Robby, and their two daughters Emma and Katy.
Our first stop was great in Tucson at the Cracker barrel, SO yummy! Our next stop in Lourdsberg, NM was not so pleasant, on the outside the rest stop looked amazing, but little did I know that something sinister lurked ahead of me (well, there was a sign that said beware of rattle snakes but I did not take heed to what it was warning me of) I walk in and the bathroom is on the darker side, and completely empty. I choose the stall with the light over head so I could get a good look at the toilet and how I was going to construct my toilet paper ass shield. So after using a half roll of toilet paper to cover the seat I take tentative test squat to make sure the toilet paper would sufficiently cover my ass...test squat was good so I plop down to pee...as I'm finishing up I hear a loud hiss (keep in mind that I'm still alone in there) my legs shot up and I was literally in the fetal position sitting on the toilet. I look to my left......nothing....I look to my right...nothing....I look below me nothing...I look up...nothing. So I lean forward and unlock the stall door and open it and in one fluid motion I leap off the toilet and pull up my pants and run the heck outta that damn bathroom....all the way to the car. I used a heavy amount of hand sanitizer later...
I guess I will make a series out of this, I will post another tomorrow....the worst is yet to come.
Kim;)
Our first stop was great in Tucson at the Cracker barrel, SO yummy! Our next stop in Lourdsberg, NM was not so pleasant, on the outside the rest stop looked amazing, but little did I know that something sinister lurked ahead of me (well, there was a sign that said beware of rattle snakes but I did not take heed to what it was warning me of) I walk in and the bathroom is on the darker side, and completely empty. I choose the stall with the light over head so I could get a good look at the toilet and how I was going to construct my toilet paper ass shield. So after using a half roll of toilet paper to cover the seat I take tentative test squat to make sure the toilet paper would sufficiently cover my ass...test squat was good so I plop down to pee...as I'm finishing up I hear a loud hiss (keep in mind that I'm still alone in there) my legs shot up and I was literally in the fetal position sitting on the toilet. I look to my left......nothing....I look to my right...nothing....I look below me nothing...I look up...nothing. So I lean forward and unlock the stall door and open it and in one fluid motion I leap off the toilet and pull up my pants and run the heck outta that damn bathroom....all the way to the car. I used a heavy amount of hand sanitizer later...
I guess I will make a series out of this, I will post another tomorrow....the worst is yet to come.
Kim;)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I love to Laugh!
Yes, yes its true! I love to laugh! I went to a comedy show this weekend with my cousin Whitney (otherhalfness, partner in double trouble!) It was great! Brian Reagan preformed, but alas I can tell you it was not pure enjoyment...
Let me back pedal a bit so you can better understand. We did not go alone, there where 9 others in our group, a few that I did not know and a few that I did. Let me tell you this I have never in my entire life been so glad that I blew 10.00 on a beer...well 24 ounces of pure mind or rather ear numbing (in this case) goodness. I tell you I would have never made it through the 2 hour show with out it, for I yes I was the one seated next to a loud laugh-er, but not just a loud laugh-er, a laugh-er that, I kid you not laughed at every. single. fucking. word that came out of Brian Reagan's mouth. She must be kin to a hyena! At first I was thinking "no biggie, she just gets tickled easy" then when the psycho laughter did not cease I was thinking maybe shes drunk (nope that was me) by the time the show ended I was slightly deaf in one ear...but on the up side I was still buzzing. So the lesson to be learned here is know the person you sit next to! I guess it could have been worse... poor David who sat in front of her had to lean forward the entire show to escape the obnoxious laughter....
In other news, I'm going on vacation! Yeah! Texas here I come...watch out now!
Let me back pedal a bit so you can better understand. We did not go alone, there where 9 others in our group, a few that I did not know and a few that I did. Let me tell you this I have never in my entire life been so glad that I blew 10.00 on a beer...well 24 ounces of pure mind or rather ear numbing (in this case) goodness. I tell you I would have never made it through the 2 hour show with out it, for I yes I was the one seated next to a loud laugh-er, but not just a loud laugh-er, a laugh-er that, I kid you not laughed at every. single. fucking. word that came out of Brian Reagan's mouth. She must be kin to a hyena! At first I was thinking "no biggie, she just gets tickled easy" then when the psycho laughter did not cease I was thinking maybe shes drunk (nope that was me) by the time the show ended I was slightly deaf in one ear...but on the up side I was still buzzing. So the lesson to be learned here is know the person you sit next to! I guess it could have been worse... poor David who sat in front of her had to lean forward the entire show to escape the obnoxious laughter....
In other news, I'm going on vacation! Yeah! Texas here I come...watch out now!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Common Sense: Don't leave home without it!
I for one think that a trait in humans is being filtered out and replaced with stupidity. The trait I speak of is Common Sense. So here are a few examples of common sense or rather lack there of.
When you are carrying your new born baby and texting on your phone, common sense would tell you to put the phone down instead of letting your child further slip down your body. ( that one was courtesy of a real winner of a mother in walmart)
WARNING: Controversy dead ahead
Sheriff Joe is being investigated for racial profiling for illegal aliens.... No Duh, Dumb Shit! We live in Arizona! What race is predominately illegal here....hmmmm let me think Mexicans from, you know Mexico...that place that is a hop skip and a jump away from us here in Phoenix....So, common sense would tell us that the race he would target is...Drum roll please....Mexicans!
Oh and by the way to the dumb ass woman leading the protest against him about the guy that escaped the court house, that he should stop looking for illegals when this the guy that escaped is a sex offender. Granted that was a huge fuck up but watch the news they caught SIX illegals coming over...and guess what....they where sex offenders!!! Common sense would tell us to do our research before we embarrassed ourselves on the news...
This next one is for our dear president Barack Hussein Obama:
If you know that the stock market is run on emotion and what our government has to say for the love of all that is holy and beautiful on this earth say something freaking positive for once! Seriously, you even admitted in a speech that you know the stock market is run on emotions! Oh and I have a question; your stimulus package does not call for any spending till 2010 so how does that help us now?? hmmmmmm??? Common sense would tell us that it won't help till 2010...so whats your brilliant thought process behind that little jem?( the reason why I ask is because I distinctly remember you saying that this stimulus package will bring us relief NOW)
Oh and another question; Is the reason you appointed Janet Napolitano (love child of Janet Reno and Madeline Albright) as Secretary of homeland security is so that our defenses will be completely weakened with no chance of quick repair? We all know damn good and well that she is as incompetent as they come.
I guess that's enough for now...I will post again soon:)
Smile:)
When you are carrying your new born baby and texting on your phone, common sense would tell you to put the phone down instead of letting your child further slip down your body. ( that one was courtesy of a real winner of a mother in walmart)
WARNING: Controversy dead ahead
Sheriff Joe is being investigated for racial profiling for illegal aliens.... No Duh, Dumb Shit! We live in Arizona! What race is predominately illegal here....hmmmm let me think Mexicans from, you know Mexico...that place that is a hop skip and a jump away from us here in Phoenix....So, common sense would tell us that the race he would target is...Drum roll please....Mexicans!
Oh and by the way to the dumb ass woman leading the protest against him about the guy that escaped the court house, that he should stop looking for illegals when this the guy that escaped is a sex offender. Granted that was a huge fuck up but watch the news they caught SIX illegals coming over...and guess what....they where sex offenders!!! Common sense would tell us to do our research before we embarrassed ourselves on the news...
This next one is for our dear president Barack Hussein Obama:
If you know that the stock market is run on emotion and what our government has to say for the love of all that is holy and beautiful on this earth say something freaking positive for once! Seriously, you even admitted in a speech that you know the stock market is run on emotions! Oh and I have a question; your stimulus package does not call for any spending till 2010 so how does that help us now?? hmmmmmm??? Common sense would tell us that it won't help till 2010...so whats your brilliant thought process behind that little jem?( the reason why I ask is because I distinctly remember you saying that this stimulus package will bring us relief NOW)
Oh and another question; Is the reason you appointed Janet Napolitano (love child of Janet Reno and Madeline Albright) as Secretary of homeland security is so that our defenses will be completely weakened with no chance of quick repair? We all know damn good and well that she is as incompetent as they come.
I guess that's enough for now...I will post again soon:)
Smile:)
Thursday, January 29, 2009
"Love and bless you, my lady, let me light my pipe in your eyes!"
Wow! To have a compliment like that! Alas, the complement was not for me, but to the ever inspiring Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire. Not only an inspiration in fashion but in her everyday life. She tolerated her husbands affair for years, yes I know she ended up stepping out of him but COME ON! Would you tolerate your husband doing mattress mambo with your best friend?? In your house, where you could hear the dirty deed? So mad props to the duchess for getting hers!
I'm sure your all wondering why I'm writing about this? No, nothing is amiss in my personal life. I just have a strong feeling to express this statement "If you a push a woman to far your gonna get what you deserve!" Don't get me wrong sometimes us ladies can be straight up dumb, but in certain situations we shan't be pushed.
On a totally different subject...Whats up with mothers today?? I will describe my contempt for some mothering skills I have seen of late with this true story...
One evening I was in Walmart, I was walking from the home section to the toy section, I hear a newborn baby start to cry ( newborns have a certain cry that's how I know)...after about five minutes of hearing this newborn cry I start to look around.. and that's when I see her, a tall seemingly middle age woman with all her limbs in working order standing in front of her basket...her newborn baby was in her car seat, in the main part of the basket. So I stand there watching the woman just standing there talking with some friends while her child is freaking out in her car seat...(not that you could see the child the top of the carrier was covered with a blanket) she just stood there and jiggled the cart further pissing her newborn baby off, she continued talking ignoring her child's cry. After about 20 min staring at this mother in disbelief I say loudly to my husband " If I was a newborn crying I would want to be picked up!" The women looked around for a few seconds and returned to her oh so important conversation. At that point I had to walk away or I was gonna get crunk with that woman....
I almost had a panic attack because of this... I still don't think I'm over it....
So mothers I say to you... love you children, pick them up when they cry. Comfort them. You are the person in this world that they depend on...they cannot do for themselves what you can do for yourself! So please for the love of at that is good in this world give your full attention to your children they need you!!!
and so ends this rant...I feel a little better...
Kim
please comment;)
I'm sure your all wondering why I'm writing about this? No, nothing is amiss in my personal life. I just have a strong feeling to express this statement "If you a push a woman to far your gonna get what you deserve!" Don't get me wrong sometimes us ladies can be straight up dumb, but in certain situations we shan't be pushed.
On a totally different subject...Whats up with mothers today?? I will describe my contempt for some mothering skills I have seen of late with this true story...
One evening I was in Walmart, I was walking from the home section to the toy section, I hear a newborn baby start to cry ( newborns have a certain cry that's how I know)...after about five minutes of hearing this newborn cry I start to look around.. and that's when I see her, a tall seemingly middle age woman with all her limbs in working order standing in front of her basket...her newborn baby was in her car seat, in the main part of the basket. So I stand there watching the woman just standing there talking with some friends while her child is freaking out in her car seat...(not that you could see the child the top of the carrier was covered with a blanket) she just stood there and jiggled the cart further pissing her newborn baby off, she continued talking ignoring her child's cry. After about 20 min staring at this mother in disbelief I say loudly to my husband " If I was a newborn crying I would want to be picked up!" The women looked around for a few seconds and returned to her oh so important conversation. At that point I had to walk away or I was gonna get crunk with that woman....
I almost had a panic attack because of this... I still don't think I'm over it....
So mothers I say to you... love you children, pick them up when they cry. Comfort them. You are the person in this world that they depend on...they cannot do for themselves what you can do for yourself! So please for the love of at that is good in this world give your full attention to your children they need you!!!
and so ends this rant...I feel a little better...
Kim
please comment;)
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Breast feeding in public and some damn good perfume
Sooo, there is this news story about mothers breast feeding in public, my stance on it is the same as it was before I had my son. Don't for the love of all that is holy and good in this world whip out your tits for everyone and there brother to ogle! There is a right way any a wrong way to breast feed in public, the wrong way or shall I say rude way is to leave yourself totally exposed, I do understand that your child is eating, BUT your child is not eating from a bottle, your child is eating from your BREAST...you know a PRIVATE PART! A part of your body that until then only dressing room mirrors and your husband have seen! Get a cover for yourself, respect other people and they will return the same respect.
Oh, and don't even get me started about the moms that breast feed their children till there 2 and 3 years old. I do applaud your bravery in nursing a child that has teeth and no understanding that biting hurts....otherwise its just plain gross...if your child can climb himself up into your lap and tell you they are thirsty...it needs to stop it is not beautiful anymore, besides give the boobs back to your husband...I'm sure he misses them.
On to the damn good perfume...my wonderful otherhalfness, Whitney gave me my most favorite perfume to me on Christmas. Prada Milano Yummy yummy stuff. We also wrapped David's truck in the most ugly Christmas wrapping paper we could find...but both of us ended up with concussions by the end of the night. Sorry to the little old ladies that live next to him for the string of obscenities that flew out of my mouth when my head hit that beam!
Whew! That was a long blog! Go me! I'm getting back into the swing of things...
Hugs and Kisses and please comment,
Kim
Oh, and don't even get me started about the moms that breast feed their children till there 2 and 3 years old. I do applaud your bravery in nursing a child that has teeth and no understanding that biting hurts....otherwise its just plain gross...if your child can climb himself up into your lap and tell you they are thirsty...it needs to stop it is not beautiful anymore, besides give the boobs back to your husband...I'm sure he misses them.
On to the damn good perfume...my wonderful otherhalfness, Whitney gave me my most favorite perfume to me on Christmas. Prada Milano Yummy yummy stuff. We also wrapped David's truck in the most ugly Christmas wrapping paper we could find...but both of us ended up with concussions by the end of the night. Sorry to the little old ladies that live next to him for the string of obscenities that flew out of my mouth when my head hit that beam!
Whew! That was a long blog! Go me! I'm getting back into the swing of things...
Hugs and Kisses and please comment,
Kim
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A small recant
As the title says above I must make a slight recant. About who you ask? As much as I hate to say it Mr. Russel Brand, is hilarious! I just watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall last night and hot damn I was laughing my ass off the whole way through, mostly impart to Russel Brand, don't get me wrong, the man still looks a fool in those tight pants and he needs to lay off American politics. So with that I give Russel a big fat kudos in his wonderful part in FSM!
As you can tell I have not blogged for the better part of 3 months, sorry, no excuse other than plain laziness. I will try to have a wonderful rant everyday from now on!! Big news to come!! Next blog though...kisses
K!
As you can tell I have not blogged for the better part of 3 months, sorry, no excuse other than plain laziness. I will try to have a wonderful rant everyday from now on!! Big news to come!! Next blog though...kisses
K!
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